Coming Home

I have been in London for ten years. I moved for a job, had no plan as to what I would do next and found myself staying. To begin with it was exciting and overwhelming. I was meeting new and interesting people all the time, I could see art, film, theatre when I wanted, eat breakfast at 4am and most of all, get home at any time of the night...on a bus! But with anything or anyone, if you have it available to you all the time you start to take it for granted. I had many years of saying yes to almost every opportunity (I won't lie, sometimes a night in with a good book is needed) but the longer I lived in London I was finding I wasn't actually 'living' in London. I became complacent and, looking back on the most recent years, I have now realised that complacency has most likely contributed to where I find myself today.

We all do it though. We are too tired from work, have to cook for the kids, pay the bills, have the family over at the weekend and before we know it another month has passed by taking with it the nice weather, that film, exhibition or play you really wanted to see and the deal at the new trendy bar where you were going to have the well over due 'date night.' We also happen to live in a society full of social media constantly bombarding us with images of how wonderful, busy and trendy other peoples lives are. This had a weirdly crippling affect on me as I saw these posts, comments and 'likes' as something that I would never be able to match so why try? Ridiculous I know and will actually be the subject of another blog.

In the end I became so despondent, disillusioned and complacent with London that I left. Not just for a break but I left for good. Well, at least I thought for good. I moved somewhere beautiful, surrounded by my family and friends, had perfect beaches to walk, cosy pubs to drink in and felt safe and wanted. I tried very hard, but something didn't quite click and 3 months later I was packing the car and heading back to the mainland. I kept asking myself why I was returning to a place that I had recently been so miserable in. I love my home and will always be an island girl at heart but I missed the city and I wanted the opportunity back.

So, on my return to London I decided that I would not take the wonderful city that I live in for granted. It won’t be perfect and it won’t fix the bits of me that are broken, but I will make the most of the opportunities around me, say yes, explore and give myself the chance to mend. After all, I didn't plan to stay in the first place so who knows what could be around the corner. I suppose this blog will be a journal of what I say yes to. Have a read if you like, you may discover something new about your city. Oh, be warned, there may be one or two posts about knitting and baking as well! Sx

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